Reason vs. Imagination

Here's an interesting thought I encountered while reading GK Chesterton's "Orthodoxy." In the chapter entitled "The Maniac" he introduces the idea that it is not imagination that drives a man insane, but reason. If you look at all the lunatic asylums in the world, you'll find that whatever the insane believe is completely logical. For example: "Switzerland is anti-war. I am anti-war, therefore, I am Switzerland." That statement is completely logical, however untrue it is. According to Chesterton, a lunatic is a man who has lost everything BUT reason.

This is why imagination is so important to the human psyche. If you'll notice, poets and artists don't go insane through their imagination. The beauty of their works flows beautifully across the infinite, and they become insane when they attempt to make that art finite. Logic can very easily become the bane of the human mind and any source of peace and clarity. This is not to say that logic isn't a wonderful tool of understanding; by all means use it as such. I know I very much love logic and the use of it, but what we must learn is that our imagination is far more important than our logic, as it is more powerful than it. At some point, as Kierkegaard claims, we must abandon reason for faith, for faith is stronger than reason. The mental exhaustion that results from too much reason is so detrimental, and the peace of mind resulting from faith is the ultimate cure.

Reverse Confessional

This, for me, is an attempt to understand certain emotions and thoughts and things that roll around in my head, as you can see. For the one person that reads this blog (thank you Drew), and for those who occasionally stop by because you see this link in my info or on my Facebook. So far, I've covered things that I dislike about the church, my own personal struggle with lust and insecurity, and my own longing to comfort the wounded. I think this one is going to be a sort of summary of those things, but at the same time, I really don't know.

As of late, I've been examining a movement in the church known as the Emerging Church (not Emergent, follow me here), or Post-Evangelicalism. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this movement, it's the sort of church that includes guys like Rob Bell, Shane Claiborne, Donald Miller, and Brian McClaren. It's gaining popularity among college age students, mostly due to its emphasis on postmodernism and cultural relevance. Core beliefs include a focus on missional living (loving people intentionally despite who they are), truth as subjectivity (and in some cases relative), and going into the world instead of telling them to come to church. Now, don't get me wrong here. I believe truth to be absolute, yet I do see how truth can be subjectivity. Still, what moves me about this church is how it reflects aspects of a church that I never, under any circumstances, saw while I was growing up.

Let me explain. I grew up in an Assemblies of God church in Newport, Pennsylvania, the epitome of backwoods culture. On the political scale, the entire county pretty much falls ultra-conservative, and though many people don't seem to attend church, they do believe in their own sort of version of God. My church is one of few Pentecostal churches in the county (one of three or four, I think), yet is still pretty well known. They sort of get a reputation for being crazy, jumping around during worship and a lot of talk about "baptism in the Holy Spirit" and "speaking in tongues." It's enough to freak people out the first time they come, but if they keep coming, they usually find that they're not so different from other churches in the area. Like the rest of the county, my church reflected an ultra-conservative agenda. When the Da Vinci Code was published, my pastor immediately took it upon himself to preach a two week series on the falsehood of the Da Vinci Code, sort of as an apologetic course. He has spoken out against abortion, gay marriage, and the Democratic party, and shown support for capital punishment and the current administration, and often invites speakers reflecting these same beliefs. Like any good A/G church, we have our Mission's Convention every year, displaying different aspects of different cultures and talk about how much they need Jesus. We have outreaches to our community where we give food to needy families, and outreaches overseas (such as Haiti and India) where we send teams to give medical help and food to the needy there. Often, preaching is a common part of these outreaches.

Now let me tell you why I've come to dislike this church. At age 13, I really had no desire to learn more about God because I had grown up with it and never cared much for it, but my mother insisted that I go along to the services of a week long Holy Spirit baptism thing going on at the church (my mother fits the above stereotype well). I thought I would give God one final shot. I went to the altar to receive the gift of tongues (rather synonymous with baptism of the Holy Spirit in the A/G) and though I felt filled with God and His peace, I received no tongues. I continued praying at the altar, when my pastor came up to me and asked me if I was OK. I said "yes, I haven't felt this peace in a long time." He asked me if I was praying for the gift of tongues, and I said yes, though I wasn't actually showing any evidence of having received it. He then asked me to make more room at the altar for other people. I moved away from the altar and went back to my seat, unsure of what exactly had happened. Repeatedly, I prayed for tongues over the course of my teenage years and never got a darn thing. The only positive reinforcement I got was from a youth leader who told me that God told her to just wait for my time, that it would come one day. Other than that, I was just another person taking up space at the altar.

This, along with the ultra-conservative position of my church, is why I've come to dislike it. Its teachings go against the things that Christ has taught, that loving people intentionally regardless of who they are is more important than political agendas and the gift of tongues. For the longest time, I've wanted to be a part of a church who loved without agendas or conditions. That's how Christ loves: unconditionally. I'm tired of asking to speak in tongues. I'm tired of hearing about how President Bush is a great president. I'm tired of being told how loving Christ is when the church isn't showing it. I want to love as Christ does. I want to go into the world and tell them of God, instead of telling them to come to church all the time.

And yet, when have I done this? When I have I ever lived missionally? When have I ever done something to help the poor, the hungry, the hopeless? When have I ever reclaimed an abandoned area of the empire, or taken the time to feed the hungry, give shelter to the homeless, or visit the lonely? When did I move away from what my church raised me to be? I see the need to, and I want to accomplish that need, but when will I get up off the couch, stop reading about it for awhile, and do it?

When will I stop being a hypocrite?

Some of you will read this and think "wow, way to throw a hissy fit. Grow up." To you, I hope you see what I'm trying to say and go live as Christ would have you live. Some of you will be inspired to take action. God bless you. And some of you will skim this and just see me taking pot shots at the A/G. To you, go back and read the whole thing. It'll make more sense then.