Animal dreams and Constellations

Aside from one or two attempts at relationships, I have spent the past year and a half single. For the past year and a half, I've also begged God not to make me celibate and to show me a woman after Him whom He wants me to spend the rest of my life with. However, for the most part in these past several months, I've used the time to press more into God and come closer to Him. Still, I find myself feeling pretty lonely here and there (I know I'm not alone here, I'm just expressing emotion). My psychology book explains it as a part of the social time line. Generally, 19 is an age to begin looking for a girlfriend and most likely find one, at least in our culture. Sadly, psychology does nothing to really explain the lack of ease in meeting the demands of a social time line. Yet God has always provided for me in those lonely times, particularly last evening.

After I got home from work, I was extremely exhausted, so I took a nap. I had a dream about hummingbirds (of all things) and I recall someone explaining to me within the dream that hummingbirds mate for life and that if one of the pair dies, the other will soon follow because of the bond the pair had. Now, this isn't true of hummingbirds, but it does occur in other areas of the animal kingdom (stick with me here, it's the moral that counts). I woke up hearing Jack Johnson's song "Constellations" in which he talks about drawing constellations in the sky while his father tells stories about the stars. The combination of the dream and the song left me with an understanding that if I were to leave God, or vice versa, I would die spiritually. Life would cease to have any meaning. Albeit this is something most Christians know, but I'm beginning to see how much more important my relationship with God is than it is to have a girlfriend. Social time lines thrown to the wind, I can say (at least for the moment) that I could be happy if it were only God and I for the rest of my life, and though my fickle human emotions will fluctuate and undulate, God sees me through the deepest valleys and the highest mountains. I am His.